orthodox corner (by Zikko)
(5:05 a.m. post)
I’ve been experiencing a really intense desire for religion again.
I don’t know how to handle this.
On one hand, practicing a religion makes me feel like an actual human being, humbled by my very existence yet with a sense of real purpose, capable of experiencing awe and intense gratitude in response to the shades of green present on a blade of grass, or the iridescent gleam of hair in sunlight, or the veining in a honeybee’s wing……. as opposed to an apathetic monster, thoughtlessly shuffling thru the day, ruled entirely by id. (kill me)
On the other, becoming religious again means opening myself up to the Church and finding a faith community that manages to avoid trivializing my faith in an attempt at relevance, doesn’t get so caught up in social justice that “church” becomes a big lefty hang out place, and embraces the absurdity of a literal Incarnation, a literal Resurrection, because I am an expert at thinking but a complete failure at feeling anything at all (I asked for poetry and they gave me liberal theology).
(so really, kill me)